Am I Depressed? Or just hung up on her?

Question: How do I know if I’m depressed or not over this girl? She dry texts me and I think about her all the time even when I’m in a relationship. I’ve dreamed about her and everything. I read quotes and they match perfectly with what it going on with us. I just don’t know what to do. Can you help?

Response: Thank you for reaching out with your question. Relationships are crazy and tough to navigate especially now with technology like texting, Instagram, Twitter, Facebook and other social media platforms playing such a big role in communication. So much gets left open for interpretation/unspoken understanding. Assumptions get made, and miscommunications happen SO often. Please know that you are not alone in having this confusing experience.

Depression is serious, and if you think you are experiencing symptoms of depression, you need to talk to a trusted adult right away. A great place to start is with a school guidance counselor, church pastor, and your parents. Tell them about what you’re experiencing, and be open to their suggestions for seeing a therapist if you decide together that that would be a good next step. We all experience highs and lows, but if this “low” you’ve found yourself in is lasting day in and day out, it’s causing you to have constant negative thoughts about yourself and your life, if it’s causing you to pull away from loved ones, or if it’s making it hard to get out of bed every day and do normal tasks, you could be experiencing depression, and you should talk to someone about it right away.

Now let’s talk about this girl problem. Being concerned about this girl not responding to you is a totally normal feeling. You want to know what she’s thinking or doing but it's hard if you don’t hear back from her for hours, days, or weeks at a time. I know it’s hard, but I encourage you not to dwell or obsess. If she isn’t texting you back, or if she doesn’t seem to be showing any interest, then take active and conscious steps to keep your mind off of her so you can move on. I hear you saying that your feelings for her even affect your other relationships and are heavy in your subconscious - you dream about her too. This isn’t a bad thing, in fact, it doesn’t necessarily mean anything at all. It’s tempting to think that dreams are somehow a sign - telling us our true feelings or manifesting our future somehow, but they aren’t. I just recently learned from a therapist friend of mine that dreams are really just our mind’s way of processing information. They are totally out of our control, but are a necessary step towards processing emotions and making sense of what happens in real life and what we spend our time thinking about. Spend your time focusing on other things, and try not to dwell on what you cannot control. All will work out according to God’s plan for you. Talk to Him about what you’re going through, and have faith that He hears you, understands, and will answer your prayers. You’ll make it past this tough time.